What’s one fear you’ve faced when it comes to your God-sized dream? And what’s the truth that’s bigger than that fear?Holley Gerth asked us to answer the previous questions this week as part of pursuing our God-Sized Dreams. It's been stewing in my head, and in my heart, but I have been unable to get it down on paper (or on screen).
Then Lisa-Jo gave us the prompt for Five Minute Friday and it was ... AFRAID! and I thought about it all weekend. To be honest, I'm afraid that I will never blog again and that I won't be able to get the words out right.
At the beginning of the year, I shared my dreams with you... dreams to be a better wife and mom. dreams to connect with others through writing and card making. Dreams to CREATE... Part of fulfilling those dreams (the writing ones, anyway) involve going back to school.
And I was SOOO AFRAID of that.
So afraid of being out of place with a bunch of 18-22 year olds.
So afraid of forgetting how to do homework and write academic papers and take tests and participate in class interactions and group projects and having to read and read and write and write.
But I did it anyway! Through the strong encouragement of my awesome husband (he rocks, by the way) and my dad, and some friends, and my high school English teacher who is now my college advisor (Go, God!), I went back to college. Just a class or two, but I'm doing it... and right now I'm still afraid, because I can't keep up... or at least I feel like I can't keep up.
And in pursuing this dream, my dreams of being a better wife and mom and being a crafter are dying by strangulation... I haven't made cards in almost a month... and my laundry sits unfolded for five+ days and my bathroom tub needs an intervention... and the bed sheets (well, let's not go there).
So fear creeps in and I begin to doubt and I wonder... am I doing the right thing here??!?! I fear failure, and I fear the unknown... What is my God-sized Dream, really?
My God-sized Dream is... a desire in my heart for more of what God has for me.
Do you know what God has for me? Do you know what God has for you? Thankfully, one thing I have been getting right is more time in God's Word and the Scripture He has given me this week speaks right to this matter...
2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love, and of a sound mind. (v. 12) or I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. (v. 13) Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.
Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? (v. 4) One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. (v. 11) Teach me thy way, O Lord and lead me in the plain path... (v. 14) Wait on the Lord be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord.
I write these verses for me as much as for you... I need to remind myself of them every single day. The truth that combats the fear! What truth can you share with me, that's bigger than fear?
And I know this post is already too long and I'm hoping you've stuck with me, because I have one more thing I want to share regarding dreaming. This part of the post has been in my drafts for weeks. And it has to do with dreaming, so I'm giving it to you today!!
I went to see Les Miserables a few weeks ago, an afternoon out with some girl friends. I saw it on Broadway back in '96, I think. While I sat in the theater and the movie started playing, I was amazed at how the music just came back to me. I was totally singing along in my head. I don't know how I remembered it from so long ago. Maybe I have heard it in other places and just didn't realize it.
Then a friend of mine started posting You Tube videos on "how the songs were supposed to be song" and I love her for it, because for the rest of the evening (far too late into the evening)I spent listening to every Les Miserables song I could find...
and in the midst of it all, I found this one...
Seriously, is there any other dream so amazing? I don't know much of Susan Boyle, and while I remember the whole leap to fame and all, I'm not sure I listened to it then. and I know nothing of her spiritual, religous background, but I feel this could have been described as a "God-sized Dream."
Now go out there and dream... dream big! Dream God-sized Dreams! You know He wants great things for you!